MESSI WAS GREAT, AS ALWAYS, BUT ...

 

Grabbing a Big Bag of Stuff from FIFA World Cup …

Enough already … with all the analytical nonsense

about “the majesty of [Argentina’s] semifinal win over a 

more talented English roster.”

There were two primary reasons why the defending 

champions came from behind (again) to win 2-1 and reach 

Sunday’s showdown with favored (?) Spain.

In order of importance … from bottom to top ,,, we’ll start 

with … GASP! … the G.O.A.T, LIONEL MESSI who 

cannot get enough praise … for he, unquestionably, earned 

every bit of it … if for no other reason than taking over the 

game at the end. (More on that in a moment.)

But … without some brain-dead strategy by THOMAS 

TUCHEL, it says here, it’s doubtful even Messi would have 

had the opportunity to add to the legend which he did … of 

course, he did. Doesn’t he always?

“It’s the way he does it. He feels the moment and takes 

advantage of it,”said Fox in-studio commentator ALEXI 

LALAS. “And … every time he does it, we’re left with our 

mouths wide open … in awe … BUT England is going to be 

kicking themselves … the way they capitulated and resolved 

to absorb pressure. That was their … undoing.”

Well, the network’s man of many opinions was right about 

Messi, for sure … but was he wrong about “kicking 

themselves.” Make it singular, son … T. TUCHEL, coach 

(or manager, if you will) of your Three Lions of England.

In the 55th minute,  ANTHONY GORDON broke by his 

defender, took a perfect cross-goalmouth pass from

 MORGAN ROGERS and, just like that, England led 1-0 

in a game that neither team managed a shot on goal in the 

first half … when the Men of Messi had a 12-7 edge in fouls 

distributed by American referee ISMAIL IsmailEIFATH.

Had Argentina lost more than a few fingers would have been 

pointed at its inability to put aside animosity for the greater 

good. “These teams … they don’t like each other very 

much,” said Fox commentator ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC. 

“It goes back a long way. A lot of things have happened … 

Some say it’s not important to play nice … it is important to 

win.”

Neither side played nice … although, noted Ibrahimovic 

(after a replay of LEANDRO PARADES shoving 

England’s Bellingham from behind to the ground when the 

ref was otherwise occupied) … “Argentina is best at 

[agitating] the other player. They are trying to get them out 

of balance, especially Bellingham.”

The hero of England’s 2-1 win (upset?) over Norway a game 

earlier, the soon-to-be 23 year old (July 29) midfielder was 

subjected to some … ahh, extra-curricular

attention during the games held here for the first time since 

1994 … and didn’t always handle it well.

No stranger to controversy, he didn’t take kindly to some 

remarks by Tuchel, who said his team didn’t play well and 

was lucky to beat Norway on what was an uncommonly hot 

day that took its toll on many players. The heat apparently 

didn’t get to Bellingham who scored both goals including 

the winner on a brilliant spin move. 

Tuchel met with Bellingham and later called their … ahh, 

difference of opinion “water under the bridge.” Yuk! Lalas: 

“I don’t think it’s a problem. I think it was designed to get 

the most out of the players.” 

Then, prior to Wednesday’s matchup with Argentina, Tuchel 

made a lineup change – based, he said, “on a gut feeling” -- 

that the Foxies thought was sticking his neck way, WAY out. 

Said Lalas, “I hope he doesn’t get indigestion.”

'

Instead, Tuchel left England’s fan base just plain upset after 

he opted to go to a strictly defensive posture once Gordon 

provided the advantage … against a team that hadn’t been at 

its best until behind. Against Egypt, for example, Argentina 

overcame a 2-0 deficit by scoring three goals in the final 11 

minutes. It was the fastest comeback in Cup history, without 

the need for extra time … that is, until it required 4 ½ 

minutes between goals to send the Three Lions home, tails 

between their legs.

“England stopped playing when they scored the goal. I don’t 

know why,” Ibrahimovic said. “Tuchel made some changes, 

and he went too defensive. I guess they thought they could 

win the game [that way]. The best [sic] team won.”

Maybe, maybe not … on this day the rival coach, who 

should have known better, letting Messi have his way. Over 

most of the final 35 minutes of regulation, well, Argentina 

goalkeeper EMELIANO MARTINEZ had virtually 

nothing to do but watch.

With six defensemen, England packed it in. Messi 

couldn’t believe it, now could he?

All together … IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME!

In the 85^th minute, ENZO FERNANDEZ made it 1-1. By 

then against Tuchel’s defensive folly, Argentina had hit one 

post, and Messi barely missed, hooking one right to left.

Finally, a few minutes into stoppage … after another shot 

glanced off the left post directly to England’s DJED 

SPENCE who slipped and fell. Messi got the ball and, 

putting it on his off (right) foot, sent it across the goalmouth 

to LAUTINO MARTINEZ who out-jumped a much-taller 

sub for the game-winner.

The assist by Messi was his record 11^th in World Cup play.

“When the Messi switch is on, everyone gets scared,” said 

Zlatan A.

Added Lalas, “OK, to a certain extent England beat 

themselves … but, ultimately, they were beaten by possibly 

the best to play the game … and he’s still at the top of it.

SO TELL ME, why should we be surprised that England 

handled ERLING HAALAND in their quarterfinal? If 

anyone should be familiar with the big striker from Norway, 

it should be the Premier League-loaded British side … most 

of whom have seen, first-hand, both the good AND 

(occasional) bad Haaland for the past four years since 

joining Manchester City from the Bundesliga.

On the other hand … what if, WHAT IF Norway’s

 ALEXANDER SORLETH had slipped the ball to 

Haaland, running unmarked to his left, on what could/should 

have been a game-deciding 2 on 1? Instead, head down, the 

6-8 Sorleth, 30, takes on JOHN STONES, England’s best 

defender who blocks the shot. Ugh

I KNOW, I KNOW … many of you out there are not big 

Lalas’ fans – to say the least – but the man comes prepared, 

certainly isn’t boring … which (it says here) puts Fox 

Opinion Machine among the top 10 per cent of TV’s 

yappers.

From The Best of Lalas (2026 World Cup edition) come 

such gems as:

“I will be the first to tell you … that I, like a lot of other 

[people] out there, whenever England plays, get kind of a 

perverse pleasure in seeing them fail … which they often do 

… But, this particular England team … it’s more likable 

than others. I’m not saying I’m going to cheer for them to 

win … or enjoy them winning … but if they do win, they’ll 

get a piece of my heart, just a little piece right now.”

SO, THE USMNT didn’t turn out to be as special as 

advertised. But it was fun … for a while .. and the question 

is: Did the Yanks deserve such scathing commentary as:

“...A Belgium team that had looked so vulnerable … treated

the Americans as if they were chew toys. The swagger and 

class that carried [them] through the first four games of the 

tournament were nowhere to be found. The U.S. men were 

tentative, sloppy and a step behind the entire game.”

Ouch! … and double Ouch!

Until next time ...