NOTING RANGER RUMORS, SLIPPERY STAIRS AND MORE

 

It’s all CHRIS DRURY’s fault. The NHL Rangers’ 

general manager told reporters “everything is on the 

table” after the Broadway Blueshirts were eliminated 

by eventual-champion Florida in the Stanley Cup 

semifinals, four games to two. In other words, no player 

was exempt from moving on … that is, if the price was 

right. Make us an offer … What followed in 

the 26 days since then has been rampant with 

speculation … which is not unusual in the Big Apple 

… where everybody in the news media is an expert 

(just ask them) and think they know something nobody 

else does … So, depending on the source, captain

 JACOB TROUBA, a right-handed defenseman who 

makes $8 million annually – with two more years to go 

at that inflated price – and was terrible in the playoffs 

(playing with a broken ankle) after being minus 4 

during the regular season, will be/won’t be traded ... 

Same goes for RYAN LINDGREN, injury-prone but 

tough, reliable left-handed defenseman who was plus 

22 during the regular season when the Rangers 

finished with the league’s best record (115 points) … 

Former No. 2 overall draft choice (2019) KAAPO 

KAKKO signed a new, two-year contract at a modest 

$2.4M annually … which supposedly made the 6-2 

winger attractive to a deal (according to multiple if 

unidentified sources, that is) … And Drury waived 

underperforming, overpaid forward BARCLAY 

GOODROW, creating a firestorm of criticism ... 

charging him with taking advantage of a loophole in 

the rules which he did ...Then there was the 

matter of a new, upgraded contract for goalie IGOR 

SHESTERKIN, said to asking about $12M. On a 

team with little wiggle room on a salary cap of $88M, 

was Drury willing to risk that much on one player even 

one as good as “IGOR! IGOR!!”? Stay tuned.

……. Scholarship cornhole? Throwing a beanbag at a 

small opening from about 10 yards (more or less) 

away? Next? Full grants for pickup sticks. Running up 

a flight of stairs? Don’t laugh. 

……. No question … ESPN has come full circle from its 

beginning in 1979 … when Rodeo from Mesquite, 

Texas, pro rasslin’ and Roller Derby were among the 

featured presentations. Would you believe theSlippery 

Stairs Championship? … I kid you not … Rule No. 6: 

No walking up the stairs with just two feet. “I’ve been 

climbing stairs my entire life … so I think I know what 

it takes to win,” says a young (20-something) 

contestant (He doesn’t ... win, that is). Among the 

sponsors:FRANK BOBO’s Towing and Recovery ... 

803-329-3030 … Rock Hill, S.C., “No road too steep, 

no ditch too deep.” … Six contestants wearing wet 

suits and a helmet climb a steep, specially-made, 

watered-down “staircase” on their hands and feet. The 

top four that make it to the top and ring a hand bell 

advance to the 

next round … On their way up, spectators throw big 

(soft, I guess) balls, trying to impede their progress … 

and send them back down to the starting line, if 

possible. As they near their destination, a couple of 

Slippery Stairs Girls great them with buckets of water 

(with a similar aim in mind). … Half the fun, it seems, 

is taking the long, bumpy (OK, slippery) road to the 

bottom – on purpose – when it’s over … There was a 

lot of smiling by everyone … except hot-pink-wearing 

Frank who dominated qualifying but failed the final … 

in this clip from 2023.

....... Does this make sense? Apparently it was no 

surprise that a 6-9 forward who averaged fewer than 

12 points playing pro hoops in France was taken No. 1  

(by Atlanta) Friday … yet just about everyone couldn’t 

believe Purdue’s 7-4 ZACH EDEY, first player in 

NCAA history to average at least 25.0 points, 12 

rebounds, 2 blocks and 2 assists, went as high as No. 9 

(to Memphis). Only in the NBA … where a 7-2 center 

averaging 11.8 points and 9.9 rebounds, both career 

highs, just signed a four-year extension at $25 million 

per. Get serious!

……. The NHL takes its turn to (cliché alert) raise 

eyebrows Friday night. San Jose will select Boston 

University center MACKLIN CELEBRINI, a 

freshman (5-11 ¾, 197) who was named Hobey Baker 

Award winner as best player in NCAA Division I, with 

the top choice. He had 64 points (32 goals) in 36 

games … With the draft’s No. 2 pick, Chicago is 

expected to name scoring machine IVAN DEMIDOV

 (60 points, 23 goals in 30 games with Russia’s top 

junior league). A 6-0, 192-pound winger, he will join 

2023 No. 1 CONNOR BEDARD to give the 

Blackhawks a 1-2 punch they hope will remind fans of

 JONATHAN TOEWS and PATRICK KANE, 

architects of their last Cup title in 2015 … Monday it 

really gets wild with the start of the free-agent signing 

period.

Until next time ...